Library ----- Table of Contents
II
But ah, who am I kidding?
Father, I am the worst of them.
Whether I be with the world or God,
It seems I am without love.
It may be proper for me to be a monk,
For even when I was still with the world,
I was still a mournful worm.
Even in a sinful man like Cain,
Your image may be clear in him,
But for a man like me,
No, I am more animal than man.
I lament over things too small to lament.
How can I speak to those congregations
The things that I’ve done?
In what they speak, there is room for boasting,
But for me there is none.
And truly Father, I lament even now over my speech,
Because it’s not you speaking.
It’s only Envy,
This spirit which I pray to leave, yet won’t.
Though I try to cast it off,
It’s as a family cloak.
Passed down for generations,
I’m so used this habit of accusing.
What I would give to cast it off!
Damn them! Damn them all!
We all know you can’t suffer temptation,
Anymore after giving in!
Kyrie Eleison.
Lord, I am sick man, a spiteful man.
Truly, truly, I’ve no one else but me to blame.
I have lived a life of shame.
And oh, it’s only wishful thinking to pray
I too may receive the bounty of the sons of God
In spite of all the evil that I’ve done.
The world has robbed me,
I’ve further robbed myself,
And now sin lieth at the door
Because I know too much.
I should just leave your house,
Let your sons and daughters worship.
Evil should be for evil,
And good should be for good.
So why does my heart cry out,
Praying for the good it should not have?
Stupid soul, stupid heart.
I know it’s in your nature
To seek the good which we don’t have!
What’s good should be for good men,
So why do you have to lament!
Even if they’re those loved by this world and God,
With God can’t we just be content?
Sure, it’s true God loves everyone.
It’s true we’re all His brides,
But even if we’re not liked by His other brides,
Just be glad He’s in our lives!