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52 - A Tale of Babel (Book 2-VII)

Dimas fires back — Aria reacts — Patrick rushes everyone inside before the whole neighborhood wakes — The knight gives Dimas a lesson on manners — An attempt to cheer Aria up — Dimas says too much

 

‘What?’

 

‘Know what? Never mind.’

A man should give people chance to repent.

Patrick did Father Tell forget to tell me

Aria’s … no, I can’t say. I wanted to say.

For God’s sake I did not, but actually,

Actually if me and Aria are to be

Husband and wife, children and all, then she was right.

We shouldn’t keep secrets, nor any of our thoughts

Secret from each other. So instead of saying,

‘Aria, Patrick, you two should come inside,’

I looked straight into Patrick’s dark brown eyes

And said, calmly, ‘Patrick, I think Aria lied.

Maybe she should confess her lie, privately

So she may be able to receive mass this morning.

I say this out of charity. Secondly, excuse me

For asking, but did Father Tell forget to tell

Me that Aria was retarded? Now,

Since we’re going to be husband and wife,

And since it seems that Aria really is

Going into this courtship with only the best

Of intentions off of our first meeting where

She did nothing off our first meet but—

Well, I can’t say because you’re here Patrick,

But I will say I’m grateful she’s considering me

For reasons beyond mere ugliness or looks.

This aside, I’m okay with marrying a tard

And don’t get me wrong, I’m friends with animals,

So I’m fine with it so long as Aria’s beautiful,

Which she is. I mean look at her, without her veil.

Such beautiful hair, gold-brown colored like autumn leaf.

It’s braided and bunned now, but it must be

Quite the sight to catch blowing in the breeze.

But excuse me, Patrick. I’ve been speaking too much,

But one really shouldn’t keep secrets from a potential wife.

Now, both of you, it’s cold out. Come inside.’

 

‘No, I don’t think we will,’ Patrick answered.

 

I frowned. ‘What?’

 

The Knight pointed to Aria. ‘You made the lady cry.’

 

I could see Aria’s eyes were wet. ‘She is.

Oh c’mon Patrick don’t give me that face.

You heard what she said. She—okay great

Now I’m being reminded that I’m still a Knight.

Maybe I was in the wrong to just fire back but—’

 

Aria bawled. ‘No!’ She was really crying now.

‘No, Dimas.’ She sniffed. ‘You weren’t wrong.

I just didn’t want you to think I was an easy woman,

I learned from an—magazines and thought you’d

Like a woman who was a bit mean. Who

Pretended to not like you, but really did.

I mean, of course I’ve only met you yesterday,

So I can’t say, but it never hurts to help your chances, right?

You didn’t have to call me a whore and a retard!’

 

‘Hold on, I never said that. Okay, I called you retarded,

But I never said the other word.’ What was going on?

 

‘You didn’t, but you insinuated it, and I’m not!’

 

This I … did, but—

 

‘Okay,’ Patrick said, ‘let’s go inside, Aria.

You’re going to wake the whole neighborhood.’

Without waiting for an answer, he ushered her in.

My dogs kept barking, but that didn’t bother me now.

I stepped inside closed the door behind them.

We all stood in the foyer, Aria crying,

Me in fight-or-flight mode, and Patrick

Doing his best to cheer Aria up.

He didn’t have a handkerchief, or tissues.

He just folded his arms as Aria wiped

Her face into her sleeve. He glared at me

And I gulped. A little vein running across

His head seemed ready to pop. Patrick sneered,

Then he sighed, let his shoulders drop and said,

‘Now if you’re wondering why I woke up

At 4 in the morning to pick this girl up

And drive her to your house, Dimas, I was

Asked to supervise you two because Father

Tell told me you two wanted to come to mass

Together as your first date. Look, you’re a

Good kid, but a man should learn to control

His temper. Admittedly,’ he sat Aria on the stairs,

Walked over to me and whispered, ‘I’d be mad too if

I were on the receiving end of what she said,

But it’s what they say about turning the other cheek.

If you did have to argue back then I guess

You could be like other married couples

And scream at each other behind closed doors.

You don’t have to insult people in the

Company of others. Aria should learn this too.

Now though, if you’re still intent on treating this girl,

Which from what I’ve heard you met just yesterday

Then I encourage you to cheer her up.’

 

‘Father Tell told you what happened?’

 

‘Yes, I know this arrangement’s pretty weird,

But I can’t judge myself because—well how

Can I judge her for agreeing to this?

Either way, I’m telling you to cheer her up.

On a first date, no matter how unusual,

You should start by calling the girl pretty.

Granted, she started by calling you ugly,

But you know how it is. Turn your cheek.’

 

I sighed. So much drama caused by little ribs.

I didn’t even know Aria was capable of such a speech.

Yesterday, she seemed so quiet, so meek,

And now that Patrick mentioned it, she really

Did just call me ugly. Nonetheless, it’s

Not like women were lining up to marry me,

For money or other adulteries maybe,

But to marry, no, not many. So if Aria,

Though she barely knew me was willing to

Get engaged on Father Tell’s word, then all

I could say was that was unusual, but amazing.

So heeding the old man’s advice, I took

A seat next to Aria on the stairs

Who had just settled down, though with eyes still wet.

 

‘I was told you were a kind man,’ said Aria.

 

‘Skibidi.’

 

‘What?’

 

‘Phantom tax. Rizzler. Ohio. Gyatt.’

 

The right side of Aria’s mouth twitched.

‘Are you trying to be funny?’ She asked.

 

‘No, I was trying to compliment you,

But if I was then that’d be fine. By the way,

The whole point of a Tsundere is that

They never admit they like the guy they want to date.

Never mind the fact that those characters

Should only appeal to boys, but if you

Were trying to do it right, you wouldn’t admit

That I’m even liked. But before I yodel on,

Let me say this Aria, you are a beautiful girl.

Looking at you embarrasses me so much

That I guess I can only babble on about you

When I’m angry. Heck, you might not know,

But there are many days where I feel that

I can only speak eloquently when one of my

Veins are about to burst, when I’m angered.

Guess that’s how it is when you grow up in a—

Know what, never mind. I just wanted to say

That I am sorry. You actually want to marry me,

Or at least want to know if you would want to marry me.

Ultimately, I—I can’t believe that as well.’

I quit speaking. If said anymore

I’d have died from embarrassment, but I

Had to say one more thing. My heart pounded.

I squeaked, ‘If you’re retarded, then I am too.

Skibidi, I mean I said that because I wanted

To compliment your ability to come up with

Grand speeches on the fly. I mean, Gen Alpha stupid right?

Surely, we can’t be as brain rotted as the kids, right?

You must be pretty smart to insult me in such a way.

Look at Patrick over there, he doesn’t even know,

But—but—ah,’ no one could see themselves blush

But if they could, my face would’ve been all pink.

Aria, finding foolishness amusing, smiled,

And she looked at me without speaking which

Only made it easier for me to

Say more than I originally thought.

 

I put on a stern face. ‘Know what? Enough.

It seems my dogs in the back got tired

Of barking. Let’s go outside, you can meet them,

And you and Patrick can fill me in. God,

You can’t just wake a guy at 5:30 in the morning,

Call him ugly, and expect him to, you know,

Be kind and chipper and ready to meet a girl.

Ah, again, I’m talking too much. I won’t apologize

For this though. You should apologize for

Waking me up, even if you don’t have to.

Do you want to say something now?’

 

‘I do,’ said Aria. ‘Can’t say I understood everything

You said, Dimas, but I was told you were an early riser.’

 

I bit my teeth. Father Tell, that fox! I

Told him I was working on it! It wasn’t

Aria’s fault though. No, calling me ugly

Was her fault, but perhaps that wasn’t too

Because if I really was ugly then how could

I fault her for telling the truth? I remembered it

Then. In all I wrote, I described myself as so.

My body? Inconsequential. My soul? Wretched.

It made judgments about a girl I didn’t know.

 

I thanked Aria for waking me but didn’t elaborate.

I got up, and leading her not by the hand, but leading

Her nonetheless, the three of us ended up

Sitting on a long red couch on the deck of

My backyard. We sat in an order similar to yesterday’s

Except Patrick sat between instead of Father Tell.

The two dogs, a large old Pom and

A Shih-Tzu-Chin mix, one of those pint-sized dogs bred

To have the face of a man, rested their anxieties

After they got a chance to sniff their boots.

Orange, my Pom, whose coat in his old age

Looked less orange and more bleached slept by my foot

While my mutt, Brown, panted on Aria’s lap.

Here I asked, ‘So, I’m sure heaven would want

To know. Aria, tell me about yourself.’