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41 - Lament of a Midnight Rosary (VIII)

But Jesus, I’m sure you’ve considered,
All these laments may be put to an end
If I were to either die, or in this life,
I were to receive the help I so dearly prayed for.

Sleep is labor. I only want to…
Jesus, I am tormented. Jesus, help me,
Or offer me to someone who shall help.
I know I am a sinner.
I am the most miserable among sinners,
And I am sick of lesser sinners preaching
As if they’re more miserable sinners.
I discern in it their souls. They like to brag.
I’ve warred, I’ve killed, I’ve bagged.
I was a great thief until I found Jesus.
I was for the lady’s until I found Jesus.

Damn it.
All they give is stress to my life.
Damn it. How do I learn from people
Who just solve temptations by giving in?
Damn it Lord, if it were still legal for me,
I tell you, I would kill them in a duel.
There can be no fellowship
Between a man whose heroes are penitents
And a man whose heroes are impenitents.