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29 - Prayer: Arid Love Bears Fruit

Blessed be the tree who bears good fruit after the drought,
for which a season passes without rain.

I am a lamentable soul
More animal than man.
Why to me, would you make yourself known?
When I confessed,
I went in expecting a great penance.
But two simple prayers...
It's temptation to call such things simple.
Help me Father be better.

Unto me, gifted from thee,
My penance I received.
I can only pray to do it right.
What's most simple is most difficult.
Help me God to rely on your mercies,
Help my belief, so I may see,
The manifestation of thy perfect love.

You know I ask for vain things,
And you know how I feel regarding life.
If I may end it sooner so I may live,
You know that's only Pride.
I pray, I say, 'If only I could be by your side,'
But alas you know my heart.
In secret, I'm probably attached to life.
So it's beauty which I seek,
And vanities which amuse.
But through a trifle I've been made weak,
And the demons can only laugh
Over lamentation caused by suffering so weak.

And here I speak too much.
Even here there's the taint of Pride.
Do I love you or do I not?
I want to answer, 'Yes, I love you Lord.'
So even if it's but a want,
Please let me ask and receive your Word.
Make my body, my heart, and my soul
Fit for all the good we ask.