Civilized Man

Civilized Man, a Vignette of my Life, and a Praise of the Rosary

5/24/2024

I realize this may not be a popular form of writing here. Without giving the muses (demons) a means to express themselves, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to write anything pleasing at least according to what’s considered pleasing by today’s ridiculous senses. Excuse me if I’m going to accuse. By writing of others I write of myself as well. The civilized man of today may perhaps be the most immoral in human history. Not to take from Notes of the Underground, but how is it that the barbarians of ages past, the Huns, the Khans, the Goths, all these barbarous tribes in all their bloodshed have actually killed less of man than the civilized man of today? In peace, more innocent lives have been taken than at any war in human history. Of this, being Catholic, I speak of the unborn of course. When a Hun goes to war, he at the very least kills he who’s trying to kill him. He wars at the very least for some expansion of territory, for religion, or some glory under heaven. Of civilized men however, they kill those who aren’t trying to kill them; check the deceased infants of today which outnumber the lives taken in all past days. Worse still, the man of civilization, the citizen always happens to be changing definitions. The innocent are guilty and the guilty are innocent. Slaves earn what’s called a “wage” so they’re no longer slaves; they have “jobs” so they are not though they’ll never make enough to move away from he who gives them pay. Then what’s to say of what they call “medical abortions?” What pity they need, the citizen should have more honor before their Creator if they simply called it what it was. Just say that you’re killing babies, that you’re murdering the child! The pagans did it before, the Volsungs, and they did it when their kids could walk! It’s one thing to kill, but when one kills and lies that is two offenses before Heaven.

The barbarian will confess their kills, but the citizen will not, and when looking upon the States, I can’t help but wonder what God-fearing man would ever want to be chosen to lead this generation? By the people for the people to lead an evil people? Who would want to find approval from the ranks of adulterers, fornicators, murderers, abominations, and thieves, all of whom whether with knowledge or without, lie about their deeds; who so delights in their offense to God that they make it so it’s only possible to choose leaders who promise to be most like themselves? The Republic is a nation of wolves by the wolves and for the wolves. God have mercy on the few sheep penned within their walls. Excuse me, this wasn’t meant to be… never mind. May God forgive me for expressing such vanity. I will only keep it, at publishing, if it may serve as a proper warning. Heaven is a kingdom. The King of Kings does not care what the people think is right or wrong. God only cares about what He thinks is right and whether those beneath Him follow that right. It is not up to man to decide what’s right and what’s wrong. To assume this function away from God is to offer oneself up to Hell. This is all I have to say on the matter. Now, let us move on to writing something more useful for one’s good.

I wanted to talk about how one may properly know God. To begin, I’ll confess a bit about my life, my advantages, my disadvantages, before finally discussing my entrance into Catholicism as a young man and the distresses I may probably hope to expect. To begin on my life, I had little friends growing up, and no romance. What others had, I had not. The only thing I did have were good grades, video games, and a poor habit for sin. If my physical attributes are of any importance, I was and am a little man, which according to some staticians and doctors meant that I would have to become a millionaire to buy my wife. This insecurity over height followed me through up until 21 last year when I discovered how the American economy tries to cheat its own people by never telling them about a multitude of locations which I will not name. For the sake of God though, I will only say the poverty of others can make one rich in worldly gifts. Robbers takes, and they may continue to take until God has pity on those from whom they take.

I am getting off topic. Who wants to know about my life? Nothing interesting happened in it, nothing of worth. All of it was vanity, except for maybe these last seven months where I’ve only been asking God to give me time to atone for all I’ve done so I may spend less time in Purgatory, whose flames are like Hell’s but still better than Hell’s for there’s the hope that eventually after enduring as a soul who would will to endure eons for God all will be well. Still, for my life, all one has to know is that in the most objective sense of the term, it wasn’t a life well-lived neither by pagan or Christian standards.

I did not get the girl, I did not get the college of my dreams, I did not have many friends; the amount of friends I may call to hang out with I count with one hand, and I wasn’t born beautiful, I was a fat kid with a fat face who had to perform all manner of exercise so he could look well enough to satisfy the vanity of others, what they call “handsome,” and even then it did not matter much since I had no social conditioning to back it. Rather, going from ugly to pretty, how much more did this transition serve to deepen my hatred for all humanity? Even from those who make claims to goodness, to morality, those who jump across the line find them all the same. They care not for the poor, but they live to serve their vanities, and man and woman, unloyal curs, they will jump from ship to ship if they see a hole in the hull.

In sum, barring genuine disability, in all I was genuinely quite a wretch, and a not a day went by when I didn’t envy or wish to strangle those who had better than me. This affection only amplified when in college, I first began to flit around various Christian denominations. Yeah, I hated them all also, because they appeared to have greater gifts than me. One could speak in tongues, the other could heal, and every day someone would come up to the mic to reveal some revelation which “God” had whispered to them. But often times, I felt they spoke about things they didn’t understand. They would say God was “good,” but from the eyes of my wretched self I could perceive that perhaps they only thought God was “good” because the world, whom the devil rules, was also “good” to them. To me, they honored with their lips the idea of suffering as God commanded, but they seemed to value what God could give them more than what God commanded of them. Suppose it was their incessant talks of suffering that hurt me most, for to me how could people loved by the world speak of suffering to one who felt like they were neither loved by world or God? In station, in looks, in intellect, they worked less to get what I had not. They didn’t have to worry under God, because they had nothing to worry about. Raised by good parents, born with good looks, what of this kind would ever come to ask whether they would die alone, or whether why what fulfillment of life be such certainty for others while but a mere chance for me? Call me vain, or jealous if you like, but I find nothing more laughable than seeing a beautiful man or woman praying for a spouse.

Excuse me, I recant. I do this as well, and there are proper reasons to outside of vanity. I’ll say now that I’m grateful God was a Nazarene. I’m grateful God carried a cross so that we may know there is no greater love than to suffer for whom you love. When we are gifted crosses, God makes known to us His love, and by living as God lived we may atone, be shortly delivered, and enter into Heaven, the only place with worthy treasures. Those who suffer for God’s sake are much more certain in entering into Heaven and avoiding Purgatory of which by testimony of souls trapped one year in those fires shall be much worse than an entire lifetime of the worst tortures this world can offer. To meditate on the fires of Hell and Purgatory is a helpful tool in turning one’s suffering to joy, for God so loves His mourning children that He’d purify their souls in life so they may enter more immediately into His. Of this, don’t seek out suffering or a needless martyrdom, but be resigned to the will of God, that one shall be either enter into heaven at death or in life receive the mercy of God through continued prayer and devotions, for it is, God is merciful, and He will always hear our prayers.

My head’s starting to hurt. Excuse me, this is not a proper course of writing. If I were writing in ink, the former prose would be kept, so it’ll be kept. What kind of Christian am I writing to anyways? One like myself? One who never got to satiate vice before turning to God? Yes, that’s who. People like myself. Backing off from this ejaculation, it is a great evil in the world, that one should think to indulge their vice for a season before finally turning to God. Truthfully, it’s one of the Devil’s greatest tropes, the Prodigal Son, because he’s able to turn a fantastic teaching of the mercy of God to gain a great advantage in stealing souls to God. How often do people sin, or lead years of their lives sinning, because they assume that when they come back to church God shall forgive them for all they’ve done? How often, when people think, “God shall forgive me later like this man,” that they suddenly die in a state of sin without returning to their Father’s house, falling from great heights, choking on food, or drowning in some river, and upon their deaths finding their souls unable to face the light of God running towards the pits of Hell? No, it is better then, for people who know better to never presume themselves into the role of a Prodigal Son, for to sin because of God’s forgiveness is likewise to sin because of God, the blasphemy! One must live as if they’d die, as if they’d meet God today! Yet, for whose whom I address this too, in the States evil has made a terrible perversion where a hierarchy of sins has become pandemonius in execution, whereby the means of sinning reflects more and more the chaos of Hell with each passing year.

In the past, when one had to, they paid a prostitute. Today, they grab their phones to buy books on how to wire themselves to appeal to a girl’s brain chemistry, or they make their search history worth clearing. People who get paid to kiss used to be poor. Today, people who get paid to kiss are rich. In the past, girls used to be the queen of the house, the mother of children. Today, girls compete against men to take men’s roles as slaves to faceless corporations, and the economy’s so bad that a man would sometimes have to pimp his wife off to labor for other men (or women, perhaps an older madam) to get enough income for a home she won’t be able to rest in. Suppose for the young, the world no longer makes any sense. In regard to man and woman, how is one supposed to love whom one is encouraged by society to compete against and beat (not in homes, thank God, but woe, in corporate!)? Poor girls are raised to love labor from birth, but not the labor which would fulfill their souls, rather labor which should make one who is not their husband nor their children rich. They are sent out from home to make other men and other women richer whilst receiving lesser fruits for their themselves, their husbands, and their own children. As for their so-called relationships, suppose demons can only laugh how men should spend so much time for a sin which may be bought with couple of bills.

Oh God! What deplorable straits! How great art thou that you would reside yourself, your very body, your very blood in such a wretch like me! I don’t deserve Thee, yet you order me, “Come and eat!” May all in the world, especially those in most need of thy mercy, delight in the Lamb’s supper!

Why do I make mention of these acts? To illustrate that nothing besides God matters in the current day. Those with understanding will understand. Every thing which turns away from Him will have their end. Evil can only extend the life for a time, but good is for eternity. Prosperous are the nations, great are their walls and towers, but before the humble people of God, every wall falls to His cleansing fires. Such is God’s blessing, such is God’s mercy to the unrepentant, for He reminds all people no matter their station He makes the poor, blind, deaf, dumb, poor, and rich.

So which way ought a person run? To God or to sin? When one knows how easy evil is to commit, they shall make a choice either for Heaven or Hell. Can all the supermodels of the world be worth the smile of the church, your spouse, your bride, your groom? Can all the money in the world defend you from the security which turns to rob? The only way to Heaven’s God, and there’s no way through to God, but the holy Catholic Church who giveth the body and blood of God.

I confess, I am tired. The flesh is willing, but the spirit is weak. I think my spirit may be gassed. I was trying to write something proper, but now this essay barely makes sense. How can I describe what’s better experienced?

Through God, and the gifts He’s allotted to His people, one may truly receive every good thing they ask. One should read into Church History, the lives of Saints; one should go after the sacraments for to touch God is to receive His will, His will to suffer or heal for thy salvation. He will tell Peter how Peter ought to die. He will tell John how John ought to live. In the Christ, the body, the blood, is the soul of a perfect will for the salvation of souls, that those who suffer in this fleeting life for the sake of God may reserve themselves an eternal life more pleasurable than anything the world may offer. Through pondering His mysteries, we may suffer in joy rather than suffer in sadness, and it’s for this that I as a mere layman, recommend the reader to pray God’s most Holy Mother’s most holy Rosary, for in these 15 mysteries is the whole life of Christ and the life of God. Also, read The Secret of the Rosary by St. Louis de Montfort for a greater explanation of its benefits than I can give.

The Rosary is the weapon of the age. Those who pray it, contemplating the life of Christ, shall abound in good works, receive what they ask, and put to heel all heresies in the world. Likewise, for all those who pray it, eternal salvation if guaranteed even for those who see themselves deep in the fiery pits of Hell in this life. Truly, there is nothing greater than the Rosary besides the body and blood of Christ Himself, but if one should consume God one should also come to honor the Mother of God by praying her most Holy Rosary.

Excuse me, this is no essay. There is nothing unified or symmetrical about it. This is more of a nonsensical blog post from a guy who writes whatever comes to mind without any quality of assurance. I am young, so my sufferings haven’t completely maximized yet, but please, don’t take my testimony because I haven’t passed from death to life yet, but take testimony from the Saints who came before. Holy men and holy women who have suffered much and prevailed have prayed the Rosary. The humble Rosary, with its simple Hail Maries, Our Fathers, Glory Bes, and Oh My Jesus is the most powerful tool against Hell our God has ever conceived. The Ark of the New Covenant, the Queen of Angels, the Queen of Heaven intercedes our causes to her most holy Son, Jesus, on our behalf by giving Him her perfect prayers for us for when we ourselves pray we only offer prayers that are imperfect. To converse with the Mother of God through the Rosary is to converse with God Himself, for it was said by St. Gabriel, “Hail Mary, the Lord is with thee!” Oh Mary, whom Jesus is with thee, intercede for all us poor sinners through they Rosary! Thou who art most holy, who ever pleads our cause, grant unto us by the will of your Son Jesus, the fruitful desires of our heart that we do the work of God, ascend into Heaven, and know the blessed fruit of thy womb evermore. Amen.

One-hundred-and-fifty-three fish of the sea. One-hundred-and-fifty-three Hail Maries. Pray each Hail Mary from soul is received as one-hundred-and-fifty-three roses to thee. Oh Holy Queen, Mother of Mercy, how do I weep knowing you pray to see me in the Heavens where your Son sits with thee. Call us oh Queen, unite our family! Amen.

Really, if one gets nothing else out of this litany of words, then pray the Rosary, five decades a day at least. It may be easier for me because God has given me time to atone for my sins, but for those where this hateful world has robbed them of time, then I offer you to do any part of it, perhaps just one mystery, one decade a day at least for your life. Ultimately the words of a Saint shall take greater authority over me though, so from St. Louis de Montfort I tell you even one Hail Mary prayed devoutly will please the Holy Mother more than 153 prayed without reverence.

Excuse me. Ah, I ought to sleep, but the Rosary, pray as the Mother of God commanded us to do. It is the sword for growing in virtues and aligning yourself with the ways of God. Meditating on Christ’s life: His love, His behaviors, His fashions, His suffering, His glories, His graces, all of it will make one more Christ-like, as does meditating on how Mary suffered herself for the sake of her Son. By removing this practice, the devil removes love for Jesus and Mary, and by it he removes a love for all good things by which people lose their ability to recognize between good and evil.

Since I am so wretched I can only point out the obvious, but isn’t it so terrible that even among the faithful no one can recognize or call what’s abominable to God anymore? Men are in women’s dresses, and women are in men’s. Mary, the Mother of all Holiness, donned herself in the dignified robes in a blazing desert when set on course to witness her crucified Son. Likewise, John did the same. Oh have mercy on us, God! The disciples of today, men and women, find difficulty going without those abominable shorts in the Summer of an eidolon plain where calm winds blow through the grass! And oh, they wear such things to mass, to the wedding of the lamb! Have mercy on us, God! They know not what they do! They never even consider how their ways in tempting others to sin makes them less like you! They’ll tell you, “God neither tempts nor is tempted,” but all the same they tempt while proclaiming, praying all the while to be the reflection of your grace! Who can tempt and be like God? No one. Praise the Lord. We are called to be perfect, because it’s possible, but we’ll never be perfect for so long as we continue being unlike He who sacrificed for us upon His cross, never tempted and never tempting. For us poor souls, the Rosary is our hope. From our heart many a multitude of words may be given for our intentions, but what greater prayer is there than that which comes from Heaven.

I’ve done enough writing now. If you’ve read to the end of this, I pray some part of this litany helps. Now, in God’s name, God loves you, and be well. Amen.